CraftAnon Etsy street team

During our move we put AMA on hold but we're all settled into our new home and ready to get back into the swing of things.


We'll start with answers from the Cheese and Soup loving Alexis of Smarmyclothes

how old are you? (from Heartsizedcrush)
I'm 136. In cat years.

Why are you so jawesome? WHY??? (fromSinburned)
Maybe I'm born with it. (Maybe it's Maybelline.) Actually, it's most definitely Maybelline.

What's the square root of 247365? Quick, do it in your head. No calculators allowed. (from Sinburned)
625

Will you live with me and make my clothes if I feed you cheese? (from Sinburned)

I am currently entertaining several offers of this nature. I will strongly consider my options and get back to you.

Want to meet up half way and go to the cheese castle? (from TheMeggers)
Only if you agree to wear medieval style clothing and a cheese crown.

You're in the Arctic, face to face with a killer penguin. What are you wearing? (from OMGcow)
A jockstrap and mittens.

What was the very first thing/item/piece of clothing you ever sew/sewed/made? Pictures? (from OMGcow)
The first thing I ever made was a stuffed monkey for my 6th grade Life Skills class. I think my mom still has it somewhere. It was pretty hideous and lumpy, my stuffing skills were no match for my sewing skills. Not long after that, I made a wrap skirt. It was white with purple flowers, and I never wore it. I think my mom thought starting simple was best, but I never wore skirts, so it wasn't a great choice for wearability.

Do you know I love you? (from Headlesstess)
Does the Pope shit in the woods?

What Jem character would you be and why? (from Headlesstess)
Boy howdy, that's a tough one. Pizazz is such a bad ass bitch, but Jem has the spotlight... I think I'd have to be Jem.

How much fabric are you hoarding right now? (from Headlesstess)
Fabric? What fabric? There's no fabric here. *rumble rumble* Ahhhhhh!!!

[The remainder of this interview was conducted from underneath a fabric avalanche.]

Who is your secret DIYScene crush? (from Headlesstess)
If I divulged that here, it wouldn't be a secret, now would it?

(The letters above can be rearranged to reveal the answer!)

If you were food what kinda of food would you be? (from Headlesstess)
I think I'd like to be something with a funny name. Bangers and Mash or Spotted Dick or Bubble and Squeak. (I almost went with some sort of soup, but then it would be weird to eat myself, right? If I was soup and I ate soup, I'd be a cannibal.)

If I snuck into your sewing room and stole 98734892 yards of fabric... would you even notice? (from MTcoffinz)
I would be most likely to notice if you stole one of the pieces I've been hoarding for years, too scared to cut into it... like the evil japanese ice cream cone fabric, or the blue and white mushroom fabric.... Then again, I hoard so much that sometimes I'm cleaning and come across it and say, "Oh yeah! I forgot about this!"

You're secretly a super hero, right? Cuz you've got the perfect body for a super hero costume! (from Blackkittenaccessories)
I don't know what you're talking about. There is absolutely no link between me and Flatula The Super Farter. I'm flattered that you would think so, though. The way she fights crime with her ass is nothing short of amazing. There should be a national holiday in her name. We should shower her with money and gifts. Being a super hero is probably very stressful and doesn't pay very well, especially with having to replace your suit every time you blast a bad guy with a MegaToot. That's what I've heard anyway.

Would you cry over ruined mashed potatoes? (From Psycho Kitty
I think I have cried over ruined mashed potatoes. I've definitely cried over a burned grilled cheese.

Why are manhole covers round? (from Kim)
Is this a trick question?

What would I find in your refrigerator right now? (from Kim)
Chili, yogurt, applesauce, sour cream, oranges, and maybe, just maybe... a small amount (3 lbs or so) of cheese.

If you could trade places with any other person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional who would it be? (from Kim)
I would want to be the protagonist in a mystery or detective novel.


Why on earth does the food shop think, that a cheese salad baguette only consists of cheese, lettuce and cucumber? (from Kezbirdie)
That's an excellent question. There should be some sort of Congressional order put forth on this topic, because the injustice has gone on too long!

Cucumbers, blah or yummy? (from Kezbirdie)
Yummy... although I was watching a cooking show the other day where they sauteed some cucumbers, and that weirded me out a bit.


Who is your favorite Muppet or Sesame Street character? (from CandyRave)
I love the Swedish Chef. I would like to be the Swedish Chef.


What is your favorite kind of soup? (from Winterlights)
I can't pass up a good chicken noodle. I ordered a second round instead of dessert once, but they ran out!

What do you normally have for breakfast each morning (or for your first meal, if you're a naughty breakfast-skipper)? (from Winterlights)
If I get up early enough (haha) I usually eat something sweet- cereal, yogurt or a muffin. If I get up after 11, I usually just wait and eat a sammich.

What is your favorite song of all time? (from Winterlights)
Man, I don't know what the harder question is... favorite soup or favorite song. It can all depend on the mood or the day. If I was in an introspective mood, I'd probably pick something by Elliott Smith... "Angeles" or "Southern Belle". If I was picking something to rock out to, it'd probably be "Lori Meyers" by NOFX.



Will you marry me??(from Eyescream*industries)
I think we'd have to move to Utah.


What was your first time like..... :] (this one HAS to be from Plats!)
I was five years old the first time I road a bike without training wheels. I was having trouble balancing, so my friend told me to start up on top of a hill, hold on with my hands, but just stick my legs out and don't worry about pedaling. So I pushed off and down the hill I went. And it was working! But then I was coming to the bottom of the hill and didn't know how to stop the bike. I wiped out, but I knew how to ride a bike after that.
Oh, you meant my first time....

If you were a wrestler or superhero or whatever...what would your theme song be? (from Jenellsrevenge)
"Push It" by Salt n Pepa

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours? (from Jenellsrevenge)
I'll steal both if I can. Otherwise, probably the one on the right.

What is Satan's last name? (from Jenellsrevenge)
Snuvvlebuns

Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. (from Jenellsrevenge)
They're supposed to leave the room? That's weird...

Who was the last person you gave a hug to? (from Winterlights)
Mr. Smarmy!

Do you have any enemies? (from Winterlights)
I prefer the term arch nemesis.
I don't really think I have any, though. In fact, the last time I had one, it didn't work out so well. We showed up to our 8th grade graduation dinner wearing the same dress.


When you read Kim's questions, how long did your brain stick on the word: manhole? (from Tapebubba)
I'm still thinking about it. Manhole.

Tigers, RedWings, Lions, Spartans, Pistons, Wolverines? (from Tapebubba)
Exqueeze me, but I am a Bronco girl, all the way.
Okay, not really. I have absolutely no allegiance to my Alma Mater, in fact, they can suck it. The alumni association will never get a dime from me.
My gut says Pistons. They kicked ass when I was a kid. And I can really remember the announcer guy saying, "Joooooooooe Duuuuuuuumaaaaaars!"
However, every Sunday in the fall, the Lions provide an excellent 3 hour period in which to take a nap.

Does Mr Smarmy refer to himself as Mr Smarmy? (from Tapebubba)
Yes, Mr. Smarmy is stuck firmly in the third person.


Whats the best ice cream in Hell? (from MsChrista)
Pumpkin is definitely the best. Cotton candy is also really good with chocolate chips on it. But the one I ate the most of was Mackinac Island Fudge.


If you agree to marry Nixx, will you be the husband or the wife? (from Tapebubba)
I think we'd both wear a half tuxedo/half wedding dress. Like the half man/half woman at the Circus, you know?

Can I be a groomsman? (from Tapebubba)
I think you'd have to be a groomsmaid and wear a half tux/half ugly bridesmaid dress.



what is your favorite flavor of cupcake? (from Heartsizedcrush)
Blackbottom! Chocolate cake on the bottom with chocolate chip cheesecake on top. No frosting.


Peter Chris of K.I.S.S. : Cat-tastic or Pussy? (from Tapebubba)
Pussytastic!

Who are you, and what have you done with the real Me?
I refuse to take questions from clones.

Do you believe in the supernatural? (from Invy Studios)
I think there's a lot of stuff going on in the world that we haven't discovered or figured out how to explain scientifically yet. And I don't mean ghosts and the afterlife and such.

There was a story a while back about a cat in a nursing home that was repeatedly going to sit with people that would die shortly thereafter. All the news stories talked about it being "spooky" and "creepy" and crap like that. To me, the obvious explanation was that dying people probably give off some sort of pheromone or something that cats (and probably other animals) can smell or sense somehow. The cat was probably trying to comfort them, knowing they were about to die.

I think it's silly to apply some sort of magical explanation to things like that, and I think it's just as silly to discount something because we don't fully understand it yet.

That being said, I like the idea of ghosts and supernatural occurrences.... I think it'd be cool if ghosts were real, but I just don't buy it.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience (dreams with Sam and/or Dean Winchester don't count)? (from Invy Studios)
Not that I'm aware of, but I'd welcome one, as long as it was a friendly ghost. My imagination is active enough without having to deal with evil spirits.


Do I ever give you the creeps by being too chummy? (from Tapebubba)
It's not the chumminess so much as the requests for my dirty socks.

Is this one of those times? (from Tapebubba)
Don't think I didn't see that subliminal request for my dirty socks in your previous question.


What is your fantasy clothing line you would like to make if money, time, and models were not an issue? (from Indiscretion)
I would love to do a super over-the-top collection inspired by fairy tales.

Favorite position? You know what I'm talkin' 'bout. (from Winterlights)
I always liked Third Position. It just felt natural. We are talking about playing the violin, right?

If you have the ability to become invisible what would you first do? (from Winterlights)
I would submit a formal request with the Powers That Be to exchange my Invisibility for the Power of Flight. And then while I waited for them to get back to me (psht, bureaucrats...) I'd probably just observe random people doing everyday things. I think it'd be fun to ride in the car with people while they sing really loud and talk to themselves.

Would you rather: Be very gradually crushed to death over a period of 12 hours or be forced to poke a needle into your right eyeball? (from Winterlights)
I jabbed a sharp stick in my eye once, and it wasn't so bad... I'd take the short and quick and not-quite-deadly route.


Would say that your house is a male, considering that it has a ding dong? (from The vintageDoctor)
My house's ding dong is broken, so I guess I'd say it's a male suffering from erectile dysfunction.


Do you wear slippers? (from Kezbirdie)
Absolutely. In fact, I think I own more pairs of slippers than shoes.


What color are your undies? (from SoHoKitten)
The undies du jour are plaid.

Do you like Jagermeister? (from SoHoKitten)
I only tried it once, and I don't remember exactly what it tasted like. I do remember some guy trying to convince me that it had elk's blood in it.

Walrus or deer? Why? (from SoHoKitten)
Hmmm...Walruses (walrusi?) seem kind of aggressive and dangerous with those tusks. But then deer have ticks... much more insidious. Can I have an elephant instead?


Would you rather: (from TokyoTombola)

A) Have a six-inch unicorn's horn on the middle of your forehead and be cursed to walk around looking like an idiot but you have amazing magical powers that allow you to make your enemies' lady parts swell up to the size of a grapefruit when they piss you off making them look like a really obvious tranny who can't tuck for f.uck

or

B) Have a body that drives every other woman on the planet wild with raging jealousy because of your perfect hair, lips, boobs, tum, legs and bum but never, ever be able to sit down without farting so loud it rattles windows and smells like someone kicked some roadkill up your arse during your sleep?

This isn't even a fair matchup, HORN!!

Would you rather: (from Tapebubba With the last two options added from TokyoTombola))

A) Have something really wrong with you
B) Have something really bad happen
or
C) Throw glitter on everything
D) Throw glitter all over 'Bubs and I and watch us have a glitter fight?
E) Throw glitter all over Angry and Smarmy and watch them have a glitter fight?

A Tom-Bubs Glitter fight is too jawsome to pass up!

What is your orgasm-inducing favorite food? (For clarification: A food that is sooo good it makes your toes curl and gives you a grin like an idiot) (from Gothcupcake)
MEATBALL SUUUUUUB!

what is the one thing you are horribly embarrassed of? whether it be a hobby, experience, or whatever. (from Alter-Eco clothing)
I have horrible hearing, and I come up with really ridiculous interpretations of what I think I hear, which I shout incredulously. Such as-

What was actually said: "They have this eternal competition."
What I heard: "They have this sea turtle competition."

What was actually said: "Giant Tent Sale"
What I heard: "Vagina Tent Sale?!"

It never even occurs to me that I heard incorrectly until Mr. Smarmy gives me that "What the hell is wrong with you?" look.

what is the strangest question you've ever been asked in your life? (from Alter-Eco clothing)
One time, I was walking down the hall in middle school, and this girl walking past looked at me and said, "You're Alexis, right? No... nevermind." I didn't really know her, so I have no idea what she would have wanted to say to me in the first place, but then the fact that she decided I wasn't me... awesome. I like to think she was really pissed at me and was going to kick my ass.